Or a gentlewoman.
As a steampunk author I am particularly keen on proper manners. I try and observe them as much as I can, so recent events have been rather disappointing.
Politeness and civility go a long way in publishing. You want to be known as a professional, not as that person who bailed up an editor at a con and tried to thrust your manuscript down her throat. Even though she had both hands full and was talking to her friend at the time.
Don’t go to social events with so little social skills you break into conversation with your relentless desire to pitch. (Yes, agents, editors and publishers are people too!) Get to know people a little, take the time to observe the social niceties, and then most likely people will ask you ‘what are you working on?’ (That’s your cue)
Proper manners are also something that should be observed in all your online dealings. I like the think of myself approachable. Online I answer emails and questions in as a timely a manner as I can. I’m on Twitter and Facebook and am pretty easy to find. However…that doesn’t mean it is an open season to bombard me with requests—especially when I have politely said I don’t have the time right now.
Approach me as you would any other person. Don’t expect me to know or have the keys to the publishing kingdom. I don’t, because if I did I would have used them long ago myself. I have deadlines and commitments in the real world that mean I can’t say yes to everything- much as that pains me. It’s no reflection on you or your work that I don’t have the time to read it. It hurts me to turn people away, but as things get busier for me I have to not only fit in writing, but also time with friends and family.
Writing might seem like it’s bon-bons and caviar, but it is like any regular job in that it takes time to do.
In other words. Be a person. Interact with politeness and interest to the other people around you- most especially when they are agents, publishers, fans and fellow authors. That is networking- not a relentless shoving of your own interests first. Done properly, people respect you and like you, not run away at the first tweet or Facebook message. Then they decide you are a person who they want to do business with, not someone they complain about to their peers.
Yes, being rude gets you a name. A bad one.